On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Come on in and take your pants off
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