If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
