what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
