ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
