Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
