all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
