I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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