there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
