yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
