Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
