I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize