the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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