I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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