where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
