he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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