if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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