she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
