he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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