I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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