I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
