i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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