She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
