Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize