Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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