Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
