Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
