i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
