Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
