I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
