hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize