its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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