He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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