I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
