Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
