is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
