Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
