I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
