it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
