At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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