Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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