you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
