What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
