so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
