i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize