I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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