Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
