Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
