tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
