i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we made out on top of his cat.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Randomize
