alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
