So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
