how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize