I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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