She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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