A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Randomize
