Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
