youre lurking in front of me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
