rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
